Try, Try Again

Well I'm back!!!

Everyone knows diets fail and I can officially say I have and am on that roller-coaster. But good news for all of you out there cuz I'm not giving up. I have exactly 3 months and 14 days until my wedding and I am going to lose weight no matter what!! I have to and I will.

Simple as that.

So starting Tuesday Next week, I will be posting my lunch meal every day. I have to do this to ensure myself that I'm eating enough. I am do have to control portion size because it seems the only time I eat in the day I eat a lot. Then I snack all day. So no more to that. I will have Water when I wake up before my cereal/or smoothie then have a healthy snack, then a great healthy lunch, then another healthy snack followed by my supper smoothie with a little crunch to curve my night time wants.

I am also going to be drinking at least 8 waters a day. I have to. So I'm going to do it.

Then for exercise, I have purchased a 10 dollar fitness DVD by Bob from The Biggest Loser he has a 10 minute ab program along with a 45 minute workout. AND just Guess how long I'm going to be working out.

45 minutes?

60 minutes?

NOPE!!! 3 hours!!!

WHy?

Because on the biggest loser, they work out more than 3 hours everyday and lose a significant amount of weight and with being healthy (obese but healthy) I can workout for that long. Just because I get tired doesn't mean I can't keep going. It's just my brain telling me I'm tired right? Right!

Ok it's time to get started. I will be writing down what I'm eating every day til the 7th and will post this on my first post the night of the 7th with my lunch meal and so forth. Time to get this thing going.

Loves,

Well if only time meant more progress...

I'm sitting here reading tons of blogs regarding losing weight and finding a better life and women who have been put on fitness magazines from losing weight and I want to be happy for them, I want to feel the strength they have to help me with my battles but what do I feel.

Sadness.

No one wants to be around you when you're on the journey, but after you won it, everyone wants to be a part of it. They want to ask for your help and all that, but whats wrong with sticking it out with someone who can only work hard every day hoping to reach the same point as those 100+ lbs lighter group.

I was reading someone saying most dieters she read have talked about the body they had before their weight-loss as another person. When I think about their journey, I see nothing similar to myself. I have lost 9.3 lbs after three months. No weight watchers helping me out, no money to get things that could significantly help me leap over that huge and tough step that arrives in the beginning. Such as "Get your ass up and do it!" It would be easier if I had planned meals and work outs waiting for me, but I don't. So I'm slowly getting over my hump and I know for a fact that who I am now will be the same person whether I succeed on this journey or lose. Will I be able to do more if I lose this weight and reach my goal, yes! Will I make more memories after losing as I would have if I had lost my weight, most likely no! So I'll be happy either way, but will I really be living my life if I didn't go through with this?

I don't think so.

I came across this blog that tends to have a ton of followers, etc. The girl was popular before she lost her weight. She had friends enjoyed life. Was she happy I don't know. But for me my life has stopped because of my weight. I have been heavy since I was 5. I don't have any sob story for the reason I have been stuck in this 238 lb body. I just don't have any self-esteem.  Is that what made me, me? Is that the reason I haven't cared to change myself all these years?

I'm 23, college student, mother of 2, engaged and still I'm unhappy.

But I'm trying.

Day by day.

Meal by meal.

Snack by snack.

I worked out almost every day for a month and lost 3.6 lbs. Was that enough for me, no. I was hurt, I felt as I had accomplished nothing. But I did and just didn't know it til now. Food is still controlling me and I have to turn it around. I have to be the one controlling my food. I have to not be afraid of it. It's never been my enemy, it's been my long time best friend since I could remember. Food has never let me down....until now.

So for those going on this journey with me I hope you stick around, cuz we still have a long way to go. But it's better doing it together then by ourselves. But finding the way is going to be the biggest step of your life. And right now sitting at this computer I'm ashamed I'm not doing something more to get this going. So I'm leaving it at that and I'll be back soon!

A month down!

Well everyone after one month of success I lost.....

6 Pounds!!

So I'm proud to say that I did beat my sister the first month of our competition. However, I don't know how with everything she did, we both thought we were going to both have gained weight. 

It was the holiday season and we figured we would have ate too much, my mom even said to me she didn't think I ate enough, but I was STUFFED!

I didn't take any measurements even before I started and I still haven't (I don't own a tape measure) So I'm going to ask to borrow one from my mom soon. 

On January 15th my sis asked if we wanted to weigh ourselves and I sadly not going to agree, but we both figured it would help motivate us for the rest of the month. Well I had only lost .4 oz. 

UGHGH! 

So now I have gotten into the whole joining every site to try to get some motivation as my sister and I are really just competing, there isn't much motivating involved with each other. 

So if any of you are on MyFitnessPal.com or Spark People look up IHateDietsMO2.

On another note, I wrote down everything I did in Dec to figure out why I haven't lost any weight in Jan. 

For one I didn't work out but three times in Dec.

I did, however, only eat out about 3 times the entire month. 

Did have ONE slice of Pizza Hut pizza.

Ate THREE McDouble Cheesburgers from McDonalds.

Now I work out every night at 8 with my sister at her house to some work out videos. 

She has so many of the Jillian Michaels things and right now we are on level 2 of 30 Day Shred.

And I've only lost .4 oz. How is this???

Ehhh just gonna try to stick to it, I have 9 days left, wish me luck!!